Designer: LGM
Codings: Manikka
Images: 1 2 3 4
Brushes: 1 2

performance over.
the song and dance will be erased from my mind,
to make space for studies.
shaking finished.
poor umbrella spoilt.
another gone.
many friends came back.
talked to some.
the special one came back too.
the white top and pants
suddenly seem so familiar.
the owner of the bear.
mood changed.
fast.

more pics post soon.
meanwhile, there are some pics today,
where there are stories behind them.

me and sophia,
acting as if the design studio was freezing.LOL.

then, came those fortune telling
by fortune teller GUO,
the exact same surname as he was.
my result was,

crack your brain and think of outcome.
next, stella started thinking of the memories they had.
so far and yet so near.
outcome, my red eyes.
and i realised i have double eyelids!!


yesterday, chian, sophia and me,
went for flower choosing.
thats where the flowers came from.=)
thank you to that you,
for giving that much.
then, we started to take photos.


the two main stars' flowers,
super duper big.

friday, would be the scariest paper.
ENGLISH.
teu,
we know we can do it.
we want to outdo the rest,
and get into mass com.
it is just right before you,
grab the chance.

lastly,
HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!

我恨我爱你-张惠妹

面带微笑离开你怀里,我听天由命
最后一张王牌在手里,二选一的机率
不能放纵爱你,就放过自己
爱情已经过了甜蜜期,多说也是无益
爱不爱我已经没关系,一点小伤而已
你可以很放心,我不会为了留你
假装可怜兮兮
都怪我太不争气
我恨我爱你
oh~我爱你
只是因为你是你
oh~我恨你
你有我看也看不清的小聪明
你有我说也说不完的坏脾气
你有我数也数不尽你的…
.新恋情
没关系…
我有你拿也拿不走的旧回忆
我可以一个人安静的忘记你
我恨你最后那一句
我爱你

rehearsal over.
everyone pissed.
you left.
i can understand.
you left,
and threw everyone to us.
and we rearranged things.
which gave more troubles.
you, too create problems.
nevertheless, you never think you are wrong.
not everyone has to give to you,
like teachers do.=)
"girls are like that,"ly said.
and i realised how bad his impression was.
fine.
wasnt in the mood for anything.
back home.
dinner.
was just 2 pathetic bread.
i was munching on it,
in front of the computer.
a BIG FAT F9 was enough to spoil the day.
that was maths.
i expected it,
though the empress wouldnt get too happy.
and a fucking C5 came.
FOR FREAKING ENGLISH.
and suddenly,
i realised,
mass com was actually so far away from me.
chinese test failed.
no excuses on how difficult it was.
i didnt study as well.
how stress school was,
empress couldnt understand.
this term,
i wonder if parents have to get report cards.
and i can imagine what she has to say.
fuck.
mass com dream floats away.

meanwhile, some pics before fucking things arrives.
i'm proud of my artefact.=)








plus some people who made me day.=)

camp over.
arguements over.
black faces gone.
peace at night.
chirps in the morning.
girls are scary together.
overall,
i like it. =)

my poor umbrella,
is going to get hurt umpteen times together.
again.
it's getting exciting.
lets hope they like it.

my bed,
was the only thing i saw,
when i reached home.
however,
no sleep was done.
nagging was heard.
vistors came.
my ex-neighbours. =)
they used to bring smiles for me.
they brought awkard smiles yesterday.
it's been 8 years,
since i've moved.
when they came as a family,
i felt nothing.
those enthusiaism, i realised,
was gone!
my play mates when young.
smiles exchanged.
my brother and i = in my room.
her brother and her = in the living room.
i know it's rude not to entertain guests.
however, i did not know what to say.
when i heard they were coming,
even during the times of shitting,
i thought of what to say.
those words like "How are you?",
didnt come out.
BLAH.

whenever i see the advertisement of 'pao ba hai zi' (chinese sucks),
i think of my brother and me.
we didnt have to share shoes,
our feets were totally different.
we didnt share clothes,
those passing down didnt happen.
just because he was a guy.
toys were not snatched so often.
my barbie and his lego.
heaven and earth.
he looked after me,
when we were young.
when i was still in the walker,
i guess 2 years old?
he was 3.
he could walk
and my mum said he adored me.
we had a whole pile of pictures,
just he and me.
we even had one which he kissed me.
sweet.
now, older.
he still takes care of me.
clothes were sometimes shared.
i loved his slippers.
suddenly, i love larger slippers.
food shared.
our toy now is this 6 year computer.
instead, we snatch our toy.
arguing and snapping at each other.
though he is more abusive,
i still love him.
i will miss you,
when you go in to the army.
i will miss your nice straight hair which you like to compare.
BOTAK. muhahahaha.
i can remember crying when you just went for a 3-day cruise trip.
i cried for quite a while.
i will control when you go for army.
miss me will ya.
I LOVE YOU KOR. =)

atmosphere better.
words were more than usual.

camp tomorrow.
more sleep today.
so that i can hang on till 2.
argh.

practice held.
stage up.
had all the fun.
umbrella broken.
LOL.

doing maths is a dread.
i dont hate it.
i just dislike it.

i am a PH value 1.
explodes on people who irritates me.

distasteful.
is read as:
DIS-TASTE-FUL.
great.
a word wrong in oral.

it's just 8.56pm.
my house seems to be like midnight.
except young master isnt home.
M & D in room.
door close.
living room - lights off.
kitchen - lights off.
didnt even bother to have a cup of water.
the only light left,
was my room.
the light to my future.

chinese test tomorrow.
pressure.stress.
didnt know which is which.
damn.

my bag strap broke.
there goes my bag pack.
i was too harworking,
to bring all my books to sch and home.
=)

change.
i will.
change to someone
who doesnt care bout anything.
will not be hurt.
will be in a world of my own.
will be alone.

homework stack up.
slacking more.
oral tomorrow.
with a bloody sore throat.

pics we took.









when times come,
i will start to play.
it will end someday.
with the death of my bear.

you know i wont be angry.
i will not be.
too tired to be.
small things do hurt.
but it's ok.

quiet today.
just pure tired.

sense of achievement for maths.
marvellous.

artefact completed.
yea.

my bear is till there.

very indecisive.
it's me.
i can never decide something.

she wasnt there when i need her.
she gave me her cold shoulder.
" i will never give you advice again."
fuck.

the only thing i can depend on is my bear.
the true and forever bear.

i took this from chian ru's blog.
"wow i'm amazed...
we sit together,
we eat together,
our study group for humamities,
we even shit together (but share different cubicle of course!!),
we even score the same marks for our o level chinese...
wow i'm amazed..."

it's me!!
STELLA YAP HUI LIN!!
muhahahaha.
thats true.
i didnt even realise all those.
haa.


decision still not made.
i wasnt thinking these 2 days.
slack.
work not done.
no revision.
bed was my power.
everything nice was around me.
my bed, my mp3.
my bear. =)
the special he,
lingering about the bear.
his smell was there.

i went to friendster.
and was happy to see another him doing well.
he was someone,
who was hurt by me.
he was special too.
with his small eyes.

B3 for mother tongue.
10 points left for Mass Com.
seems impossible.


MAKE ME SMILE.

a B3 and a distinction.
a big decision.
a bigger presure.

homework will be completed this week.
lesser entertainment.
more work done.

textbooks all home.
hope every book will be flipped,
instead of lying there,
collecting dust.

my bear,
is still there,
staring at me.
the only thing left to make me smile.

tears dropped.
decision have not been made.
they were happy about it,
i guess.
he was anxious,
i could see.
at least,
i reached his expectations,
but not mine.

she was right,
i am too harsh on myself.
higher expections,
higher disappointments.

chinese Os results tomorrow.
have been asking myself whether i did my best.
will be a little nervous tomorrow.

am slacking for this whole week.
have to catch up.
homework not done,
revision not done.
shit.
definitely have to work harder for the Os.

take everything away from me.
take EVERYTHING.

she was the one who made me smiled.
and was also the one who made me cried.

i do not deserve some stuff,
and so do you?
you should have everything,
cause you are the great big mighty one.
everyone has to listen to you.
whoresome slut.

--------------------------------------------

i was so irritated at staying home today.
she was in a bad mood,
and i was the victim.
neither did i had peace,
when i had to concentrate on maths.

------------------------------------------

am not feeling well.
and the sight of books make me puke now.
i shall not give in to the damn bloody books,
and do my best for the Os.
after all,
i have achieved for than my family.
should i be proud?
i do not know.
some people just do not understand
how difficult studying is right now.
my auntie and uncle came over,
to visit dad.
and started to boast bout my cousin,
who is also taking Os this year.
i came across this feeling,
that i have to do well
and make my parents proud.
and when i get into mass com,
my relatives can shut up.
--------------------------------

i look on my bed now.
messed up with maths
and more maths.
and my mp3.
thats my companion for lifetime.
the only one,
who shall not argue with me.
who will give me peace.
who will statify me.
then i looked at the bear,
he gave.
sitting quietly at a corner.
this bear too,
has magical powers
to make me smile.

we performed,
and let our hairs down.
and of course,
we had more fun.
the teachers joined in the fun.
both shes.

am watching the parade now.
wanted so much to see the fireworks with them,
couldnt make it.
awwww.

relatives came over to my house,
to visit my dad.
half-way through,
they seem to forget their motive for coming.
and if my futute kids will be like them,
i will slap them HARD.

lastly,
happy belated birthday dad.

performance over.
was fun.
the major one will be tues.
woohoo.
cant help thinking about being on stage.

we are getting better.
betting with hugs.
me and her.
better friends.
better relationship.

we walked past each other today.
another her.
just like strangers.
i was the cause of this.
and i bear the result.
great.

they changed the topic of gossiping.
hopped from me to another.
poor her.
this is life.
fuck these people.
they should mind their business.

both classes.
50 over people.
one big group of crazy people.
clair clair, teu teu, hong hong, kee kee, suet suet.
people who made me laugh over reharsals.
tomorrow,
we're gonna perform.
muhahaha.
gonna have fun.
mrs m was there dancing too. =)

listening to- jia(national day song)

i'm fine, i'm ok.
i know you did it just because you wanted to.
just like eating chocolates.
eating chocolates is a sin,
yet peopl do it.
why?
just because chocolates are nice.

we talked.
and i obviously felt better when you smiled.
i have not seen it for a long time.
a true smile.

---------------------------------------------------

Lesson 1. conducted by: ms ng chian ru.
let me teach you how to spell COCONUT.
there goes,
C-O-C-O-N-U-T,
C-O-C-O-N-U-T,
C-O-C-O-N-U-T,
C-O-C-O-N-U-T,
coconut, coconut, coconut.
C-O-C-O-N-U-T,
C-O-C-O-N-U-T.

mind you, every sentence of coconut comes with a set of signs,
and different tunes.
if you are still confused over it,
please come to YISS 5NB Level 4.
look for ms ng chian ru.
she and her students,
stella yap hui lin and guo qiong yao,
will teach you patiently.

MUHAHAHAHA

true - faithful and loyal to someone, whatever happens.
friend - someone who you like very much and like to spend time with.
add them up and you get true friend.
how many can be classified in this category.
answer yourself truthfully.
it's to yourself and no one else.

i feel cheated.
yes, humans are like that, hy.
at that point of talking to you and ly,
i began dropping tears.
i get all wrong things in life.
except nice things like ly, hy, mrs m, mdm rehana, chian ru, yao yao, ivon, suez.
i didnt know whether to classify her in my nice things.
i start thinking about it.
people who used to be up there,
dropped down.
like i am in them.

ONE DAY I WILL BREAK DOWN,
AND STOP EVERYTHING.

FUCK.