Tuesday, August 31, 2004
hmmm..today went to play badminton again..yup..it's badminton since ronald susilo..haha..but it was fun..many people went there...little people went home..lol..we disperse after one hour of badminton..wanted to continue playing in another place but were all fully booked..woah badminton craze now..haha..then last choice went to the gym...was reluctant actually but well..enjoyed myself..at least i lost like dont know how many calories today...if u want to exercise gym perfect choice..jus one machine u will pant like hell...first time there but was not bad experience..now i can understand y my kor like to go gym..muhahaha..toot so lazy..after one machine dont want do liao...thin is not an excuse everyone has to exercise...haha...hmm..then mei said i lame? everyday lame..muhahaha...actually quite true...there's this 3 lines down the face thingy...i invented it this way..vertical horizontial horizontial ta..haha..dont understand? ask me mei toot and su to demostrate..haha..it was lame but funny..haha...enjoyed myself damn much today..muhahaha
Monday, August 30, 2004
money money money..when u have no money how to survive? everything has to do with money...eat..shelter to sleep..transport[unless u idiot cannot go out], books,many more..no money how? borrow? and never return? i dont know...when people no money i was like huh no money? now i no money people will be like wah stella no money..haha...i dont know..lol..no money to shop jus even a simple 4bucks for a one hour badminton court i also have to think twice...why? no money...say too much of this phrase and it will seriously come true and for people who has been saying it for months..STELLA WOULD ADVISE YOU TO STOP IT!! now..yup..at this very moment..when u reach the point when u have no money...ur friends go out to enjoy and play while u sit in front of the computer thinking how u can save money to go shopping pay handphone bills and my favourite karaoke..lol..whatever..no money can do what? STAY AT HOME!!
Friday, August 27, 2004
haix..these few days been out playing badminton ending up coming home with back aches and everything? well..at least i had a lot of fun...hmmm... so many of us played...and it was like woah..crowded..neber mind...at least i can play better than last time..haha...today we played again usual place...shhh...hmm..was damn pissed off by everyone DEAR ivon.. she was like..stella ur house there got bus 985 hor then can take that bus directly lehz..then i was like no the bus was gone how long ago..she didnt believe fine...over..then she went home she took bus and she messaged me..i told u have bus 985 already here have wat..damn she scolded me stupid or idiot whatever i cant remember..omg..wat a fucker..obviously my house here dont have right.. then i said that to her she said she was talking bout gombak...omg..communication breakdown...i scolded her fucker she say i dont know dont anyhow say..then u jolly well dont scold me..omg..fuck fuck fuck..she is jus so bloody stubborn that i think no one can win over her.. whatever...i am feeling so damn not good..going to be sick anytime...haix...i am of pH value 1 today and i want to hug him when i'm sleeping...
Sunday, August 22, 2004
haix... was out with toot today at jp watching twins effect 2...i never in my life thought going out could be such a disaster...not calling people out until the last minute is also a wrong thing..ok.. so does that mean there should not be last minute decision in life??yah maybe lehz..that shows people never to do things till the last minute..always plan things before hand...singapore lost again...no bronze no silver no nothing...oh well..it was good that she can come till the end..congras to li jia wei and his boyfriend ronald susilo..well...hope they can be together like forever?? aiya..their business..lol...hmmm...i bought the jerry cd and my comics...lol..finally got something to read..spend so much today..next movie up GARFIELD!!
Saturday, August 21, 2004
haix...he's gone...gone for a long time before i can see him again..friends seem to be leaving me one by one...first was him...then we broke up..maybe that not considered as friends but we are not together anymore...communication breakdown..haix...maybe i should jus forget bout it and get on with my life...things are so bad...exams are over soon and will get results..i dont wanna look at it.. haix...things are going bad and sad...
Friday, August 13, 2004
haix...after all those fun today at yuki yaki with mei su sien and tsz fai....day at home is fucking damn upset..i was jus late for home like 20 mins? and she started scolding like hell as if i was not home for one whole night..oh fuck it...maybe i wasnt supposed to scold her this but u forced me to.. after all those stress i get from school i still have to face your white face everyday hearing u saying i wont get up to sec 5 no need study so hard...i mean wat the fuck...is that wat a mother would do?? shouldnt a mother be concerned whether her daughter is bloody stressed up right now and ask her to take a good damn rest..instead of asking her to stop studying and discouraging her...wat the fuck...i knew i was better in the results last time after all you "groom" me u said...but wats the point now...no meaning in life ok..i looked happy outside onli to know i dont have a heart inside...why am i like that?? why am i so depressed everytime a small mistake goes wrong...why am i scolding vulgarities when i didnt use to last time...why am i so hell stubborn now...why why why..it's all ur damn bloody fault...dont think urself as a perfect angel dropped from heaven..i think u are a devil who came up from hell...to err is human.. have you ever heard of this?? i bet not cos u are perfect in ur own eyes....do i have to listen to wat u said like i did in the past and care for your feelings..NO you are not the person whom i knew..u are jus a bloody hyprocrite...do u get it...hell...if this is the kinda life i have..i rather you didnt give birth to me..since people hate me..you hate me and even i hate myself...u stab a knife right into my heart without even giving me time to write my will and saying goodbye to the one i love...wat's the point of living in this world?? maybe HEY has taught us how to be proactive but in this case can i be that?? no...hell NO...i dont see the point to having to respect you again..u threw the trust again..
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
he's gone...he's back again..now he's going again..i am feelin so hell sad..it is like u lost something u found it and lost it again..omg...seriously..this thing is going to start all over again...shit.. i am getting so damn emotional these few days..i dont know why..i am feeling so stress now over all those homeworks..and a mum beside u,"have u studied today?" omg...kill me with a knife a parang a chopping tree knife or whatever...i wanna destress myself...anyone singing songs on sat or shopping?? allow me to spend a lot of money that day..i dont care..i'm gonna spend all my money spending it on everything i wanna buy..i am not going to consider anything...haix..
Monday, August 09, 2004
this is whatever crazy..my tag a place for u to scold one another?? crazy..and whoever's sq.. i dont bloody care who the hell are you..and u dont have to explain to me what the hell is happening..and anonymous..it's so damn freaking lame to not have a name...anonymous eh..totally lame...dont ur parents give u a name for heaven sake...jus write ur name there or are u afraid that when u put ur name people will start finding you scolding or even bitching bout you.. well i have to tell you that if u are putting anonymous more people will wanna bitch bout you!! dont have a face to face the others in this world...
happy national day peeps...national day...nothing to do..except watching tv..play computer whatever...finally saw my fireworks yesterday..was like woah!! haha...captured this heart firework..wah...so nice man...we were standing so close to it..lol..got me toot bong mayi and bong parents..lol..wondering y they tag along?? i also dontknow..but it was very nice after all...fireworks jus in front of you...boom...purple pink blue whatever...it was very nice..was very happy but didnt see 5566 after all..not even their voice man...not even..."ta jia hao..wo men is 5566.." not even this man..haix..but neber mind..i am satisfied to be able to see the fireworks.. especially purple 1...very nice man...after that we went to a MAC...cut cake and eat stuff.. was surprised ma yi can actually eat so much man..lol..haha...then i went to bong house overnight.. too bad toot cannot go..and today is so boring lohz..came home in the morning and used the com.. hy asked me to start mugging..yeah i am going to study chem...soon i think..haha.. holidays are jus so bored..and prelims are jus this friday!! argh...
Saturday, August 07, 2004
do i still have a place in your cold heart?? a small one?? i know i dont..cos ur heart is cold and wont be touched by whatever people do..i am jus a fucking idiotic stupid person to fall in love with you...is that wat u think??whatever...maybe i should not even put u in a small place of my fucking heart..yea i am evil...everyone know sthat..but i dont care..maybe ping is right..i am self centered thinking of doing things only for the good of myself...but for this matter...i dont know wat to do..am i supposed to bury myself to my knees and cry every night thinking of you?? no...this is crazy...maybe i will do that last time but not now...everyone will change..i know that logic.. but i have never seen someone who changed as fast and different as you...this is totally fucking crazy.. whatever..i am going to enjoy myself tomorrow...seeing the fireworks going off in a few minutes.. riding on all the theme park games..forgetting bout you at least for one day..i was not able to do so these few years..but i will be able to do it now...well onli for one day but at least i improve and the feeling will jus fade away...anyway it will be your last year and i ownt be able to see u again and i will be able to forget you totally...this is possible..i may be saying this for these few years but this time i know i'm gonna do it...i must have the determination and forget bout you...as soon as you are out of my mind and my fucking cold and black heart...i will be able to be free and lively all over again..yea...jus carry on with your life and your cold heart.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
ok...i know this is lame but u have to believe it..lol...my dear friend susu actually believe me and mei that the stupid thingy sticking out of the tree is birdnest..lol...she was like,"omg...seriously it is birdnest...i wanna bring some home for my mum!!" omg...how funny can this get...this is jus her,, gong gong...wahahaha...so funny... quite a long time we didnt have this kinda joke anymore... somemore she wanted to take it but qiong yao told her it was not..aiya...so sad..lol... but it's real funny...it's been a long time since i was so happy being with her...now i sort of understand the bond and the strength of a 4 years friendship..lol...yah of course also with mei bong toot many many... not excluding dear clair eh...haha..ever know her like not more than 2 years?? i think we can be like real good friends..maybe this is jus my one sided view as i always think i'm right and i hold the ace card eh?? lol..whatever...jus keep on swimming jus keep on swimming jus keep on swimming
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
ok...so i hold an ace card in my hands all the time and thinks i'm right everytime??its mine fault all the time and not yours?? ever used ur brains to think?? dont think u are so mature cos u are not...whatever eh..u have your own free will to write whatever u want...i dont give it a damn...if u think u are right all the time then go on...will not stop u cos u dont deserve it...dont wanna talk bout...life is stressed and hell...this is totally lame..remedials everyday and tests here and there....she actually wrote in her blog calling people in our class bitches and bastards?? omg..wat is this...u are a slut then...shity slut...flies all over your hair and body...whatever..this is lame.. arguing over everything...life is pointless...hell arrives soon after u reach heaven..
Monday, August 02, 2004
haix..this is lame..life is jus as boring as u think it is...nowadays people start conversation by, "Stella, have u start studying?" answer NO..."then u better go study ok..prelims jus 2 weeks later." omg...when is someone asking me out to relax for once...even a few hours also happy.. jus once before prelims before i go bonkers...i can actually feel the bloody pressure now...chinese oral today..it should be ok...BUT the 2 examiners sitting in front and smiling at me...omg... start to be very nervous...and all around me was nothing except computers and chairs and tables.. omg..this is crazy..i wanna catch a movie..buy a cd like i used to..even at west mall shopping also can...yes..i'm jus so despo for shopping now...omg...i wanna go catch the fireworks this weekend and see 5566 and playing at the theme park..i wanna be a small kid all over again..playing and running over without ur mum shouting. "Stella!!!hurry go study..exams jus around the corner." omg...ok lahz..u can say i dreaming but i really hope this will happen...argh
Sunday, August 01, 2004
haix..tml cheena oral..this is getting crazy..prelims and n levels are getting nearer day by day.. humanities common test on tuesday...hell..this is worst than in hell..real troubled...planned to go see the fireworks this coming sunday and it falls on my father's birthday..haix..my mum say go out for dinner...means i cannot make it i think..no more 5566 no more R&b no more kone no more toro no more everything not even the theme park..omg..i long for this how long ago..it seems my dreams will be dashed..haix...they are not coming to singapore this year anymore i think..haix..it seems this year cant enjoy chasing after idols..no yida no fir...haix...whatever exams more important..but u can restrict me from going out once in a while to enjoy right..omg.. she is keeping me in the house as if i would run away not coming back..this is crazy..i dont care if its over..i didnt even treasure it any minute of my life not past not now not never....it sucks to have you as my friend...u were jus so....no word in the dictionary can describe u...it sucks...this is will be most shity thing that happened in my life..how i wish i had never been friends with you.. talking cork with you...u are not the person who i should do it to...