Friday, June 11, 2004
ok...so we had our bbq yesterday and the atmosphere was like hmmmm..u know...not very nice..ppl having blacky face and attitude stuff going on in the air influencing others to have the same mood too...i was like??wat am i supposed to do u know...omg...ok..whatever..the bbq has past and it's a brand new day again...some stayed at my house...ppl like clair toot tsz fai and han xiang...i guess i was the first one to fall asleep??well..cant help it..i was standing there all the time doing all those bbq thingy cooking for them...haix...slept on the floor yesterday night...and my back is bloody aching now..head hurts..arm hurts but wanted to blog down wat i feel...haix.. whole body aching should be the right word for me to say..eh...whatever lahz...things seems to start wrong since holiday started...seriously doesnt like this feeling but wat can i do..it's all fated right as u all might say it..but cant i change the awkard situation???cant do anything??have to crack my brains...and also to think bout wat to do bout my relationship...haix..talking bout that..i feel like crying already...it's like omfg ok...he asked me why i didnt message him...well cant he like message me first.. and does he understand wat i feel...does he understand i have to go to bloody school during holidays and have to go out with my friends...i cant scarifice my friends jus because of him ok...if it is this way..i rather would have my friends not him..he asked me to give him a chance..and here it is but he doesnt do anything..wat can i do right..i can onli be alone and think of all those things that has not been going on in my life right.. maybe i shouldnt compare him so much well maybe shouldnt compare him with eugene right.. but whenever i talk to him..i cant help thinking bout eugene and all those times we have..how i wish i can fall off the cliff jus like reno in snow angel and forget all those things and start my life all over again!! it's impossible i know..but maybe i can do it myself by jumping off somewhere high right...shity hell...wat am i going to do now.. give me some advice and psyhco me to think right.......
