Sunday, June 20, 2004
haix...i feel so wat now...no words can describce my depression...i dont actually have to show everyone that i am depressed...even when u talk to me on the phone..i still give u that cheerful voice of mine...entertain u guys...this time round...so much depression.. dont know wat happen...thinking of HIM and him both of them..even though i know comparing them together are wrong but i jus cant help myself to do it...i cant stop myself..all the past memories start flowing back into my mind..i think y euegene can do this for me but he cant...i think y i and eugene together very happy but not with him...i dont know...i dont see problems in my past relationships but i see a very big one now...i haven start to realise wat that problem is but i can actually sense something big is going to happen.. wat is going to happen i dont know cos i cant predict the future...but i can jus sense it..things are going big this time...maybe i didnt love him as much as i did to him..maybe i jus took him as a subsitute maybe this maybe that..i jus cant seem to make a decision to whatever i do...things are going real bad...family problems and relationships problems...too many come all at a time for me to manage and i know i cant manage things well...everyone in my class knows that eh...whatever...i jus cant do things well and perfect to reach everyone's expectations...i jus cant...
